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When most people think about domestic violence, they picture a woman being abused by a man.

While it’s true that 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, the statistics regarding domestic violence against men are equally horrifying.

A 2010 survey conducted by the CDC and the Department of Justice shows that, in that year, more men were victims of domestic violence than women. The survey also revealed that over 40% of all severe physical violence is directed at men.

Women and Violence

People change, and so do relationships. The stresses of daily life, taking care of a family, and the desire to make more money can take their toll on anyone, men and women alike. And yet, as a society, we tend to think of men as being the ones who lash out when they can’t handle anger or stress.

But that’s simply not true. Dr. Elizabeth Bates, of the University of Cumbria, along with partners at the University of Central Lancashire, conducted a study to assess the physical aggression and controlling behavior exhibited by both sexes.

What they found was shocking: women exhibit a stronger desire to control their partners and were even more likely to use physical aggression than men.

Domestic violence committed by women generally involves less physical harm than a man might, but that doesn’t make it less wrong. A woman who’s petite and has little muscle tone can still inflict a lot of physical and psychological damage on her partner.

Women may be more inclined to use household items as weapons to leverage the odds in their favor and men, held back by the social and cultural backlash of hitting a woman, are less likely to retaliate.

Violence in Homosexual Relationships

You might think that the dynamic in a same-sex relationship would decrease the odds of domestic violence happening, but you’d be wrong. The CDC reports that lesbians and gay men experience both domestic and sexual violence at rates equal to or higher than those in heterosexual relationships.

This particular study addresses both men and women but still demonstrates that women can become violent in any type of intimate relationship.

How Violence Against Men Affects Children

Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their own homes. Regardless of whether the act is committed by a man or a woman, domestic violence has a massive impact on children.

Not only can it be permanently traumatizing, but it can pose a great risk to the safety of the child. They’re more likely to suffer neglect and have health problems down the road. They’re also more likely to intervene when the domestic violence dispute is between their parents, placing them at great risk for injury.

Fathers who have children and an abusive partner are in a tricky situation. If they seek help, it might break up the family, a fear that persists despite the fact that the violence itself is already causing the family dynamic to crumble.

Fathers also have to be concerned that the police, judge, and jury in a domestic violence case will side with the mother, especially if she is lying about how the events unfolded. Many women will simply claim that they were acting in self-defense and that the male actually hit them first, in order to get custody of the children.

Without hardcore evidence such as pictures, audio, or video, fathers may find their children in the hands of their abusive partner permanently.

What Options do Men Have?

Unfortunately, the odds are in the woman’s favor. Under current Colorado law, the best course of action for a man who is being abused is to leave the abusive partner before he ends up in jail as a result of her attacks and accusations.

It is far better for a man to leave the abusive household before he has a chance to be wrongly charged with domestic violence.

If you have proof of your injuries or visible bruising, scratching, etc., you have the grounds to file a restraining order and make her leave the house.

You could also go the route of waiting until she is away from home, packing your belongings, and leaving on your own. In any case, it’s likely that you’ll experience some skepticism from police or courthouse employees when claiming abuse by your wife/partner. The moral of the story for men is, before you make a single move, talk to an attorney.

Speak Up: End the Cycle

We’ve covered a lot of facts about domestic violence, but the number one fact about domestic violence is that most incidents are never even reported, especially when it’s a man suffering the abuse.

For the chain to be broken, it’s critical that you speak up and talk about domestic violence against men. Sharing your story can encourage those in a similar situation to seek help before it’s too late. It could even help save a life.

Unfortunately, domestic violence is not just a women’s issue. Anybody can commit domestic abuse against their loved ones, and it happens all the time.

These cases should never be handled alone. Colorado’s “fast track” procedures are an even better reason to speak to an attorney who knows the nuances of domestic violence laws.

The outcome of a domestic violence case can affect every aspect of your life, including where you live and even your right to own a gun. Don’t wait until it’s too late If you’ve been charged with, or have been a victim of domestic violence, call the attorneys at Wolf Law today. Your call and consultation are free and confidential.

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Cassandra was absolutely amazing. She was fast, polite, professional, proficient, and extremely knowledgeable. She stayed in constant contact and took my many calls and silly questions. I rate her a 10 out of 10.

— Matthew Ferreira

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I happened to find Jeff through a Google search for a DUI lawyer and I would have to say I really lucked out. I had heard horror stories about attorneys that overcharged their clients and that they would send others to represent them in court. From the initial phone call he helped me understand the process and prepared me for what was ahead. Having never needed a lawyer he was patient and made sure I understood everything before making any decisions. Jeff always made me feel like I was on the same level as him which I really appreciated. Jeff always prepared me for the worst, but in the end with his hard work and suggestions beforehand he managed to get me a pretty good deal. The best advice I could give is to be informed and START EVERYTHING right away. I would also say to hire a lawyer that you can relate to and that you trust. Don’t waste your money on someone that isn’t going to give you the personal attention you deserve. I would gladly recommend Jeff Wolf! He is down to earth and I never felt judged. He gave it to me straight and without hiring him I don’t know where I’d be. Thanks Jeff!

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— Patrick

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If you’re looking for an amazing lawyer I would highly recommend Jeff Wolf and Wolf Law in general Jeff helped me every step of the way, kept me well informed about what was going on with my case, and was very responsive to every question I had and is genuinely a good dude. I appreciated all of his help and the way he handled my case. I would highly recommend him to anyone who needs a good lawyer cause he’s definitely the way to go thank you again Jeff!

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— Anonymous

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Mr. Wolf is an incredible attorney to work with. My father and I have spent some time over the past 10 years with him, and have always seen fantastic results from different types of situations. He is very intelligent, honest, and diligent about any work brought his way.

I highly recommend Mr. Wolf and will call him first, anytime I need legal advice or representation!

Thank you Jeff!

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Jeff was a terrific advocate while representing me through my DWAI. He was professional. I am convinced that it was his prior trial experience and effective communication skills that secured a much more desirable sentence than I had expected. I am positive that Jeff’s representation made it so that I could keep my job.

— Matt

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After a referral from a friend, I was lucky enough to have Jeff represent me in a domestic violence case. I found Jeff to be extremely professional and experienced in his field. This being my first experience with the court system, he took the time to explain the process and my options in terms I could understand. I never felt like he was forcing me to take one option over another, he clearly explained each one and, while giving his recommendation, left it up to me as to which decision I felt would be the best for me and my family.

I am very pleased with the outcome of my case and would highly recommend Jeff to anyone in this situation.

— Melissa